20th Century Boy...

...in prep for Robin fucking Black's interview...

Robin Black: Why Don't You Love Me?

Please "stay tuned" for an exclusive interview from this hott glam rocker!

Notes from the Concrete Jungle: Cheaters Anonymous

I’m a Southern Boy, I can’t lie about that, even my accent won’t leave me. Yet, as a Southern Boy, there is one thing I hate. In fact, I loathe it. Care to know what it is? Well, even if you don’t, I’ll tell you - County Music. Seriously. There’s an old joke my father told me many times when I was a kid. It goes something like this… “What do you get when you play a Country Music song backwards? The guy gets his house, his dog, his wife, and his kids back.” Now, the joke got me thinking just a bit. What happens when one lives gay life in reverse? See, I’ve noticed something in gay life; our relationships are a bit short and quick. I don’t know if it’s by nature, or if there is a specific reason, but it seems to be true. So I’ve been thinking, if we live our life in reverse, does that mean we get to keep all our dreams? You know, kids, husband, family, good job, and all that? Sadly, one look at our culture tells us we are not living it in reverse, but seem to be stuck in permanent fast forward. Our culture is built upon the age of porn ads and disposable boyfriends. Maybe (and this may just be the cynic in me) we’d be better off with the fully pose able, automated G.I. Joe figures from our youth. At least he won’t leave you, and if he does you can always just introduce him to some Independence Day style action and strap him to a bottle rocket and send him whizzing off into the clear blue skies. Ah, wouldn’t that be a wonderful miracle? Sadly, that is not an option, not even remotely. Well, I guess it MIGHT be an option if you’re the sadomasochistic type. And even then there are about a gazillion laws that protect him from you. So what’s a modern boy to do with an age old epidemic that seems to be plaguing our culture in alarming numbers? After all, infidelity, or “cheating” in layman’s terms, is a plague. So what are we to do? A bit of a back-story here: In October of 2004 I had this boyfriend who I’d been dating on and off over several years. With us it was always the same old story of two people eventually going their separate ways when our roads would part, get back together when they merged, etc. etc. ad nauseum. The last time, and I do mean the last time, we were together things between us seemed to be going very well. At that point in time I was in a decent job and things in my life seemed to be moving forward. One night, as I was sitting around the house waiting on him to come home (yes, we made the effort to live together), an IM box pops up on my computer. It was a mutual friend asking if my boyfriend was around. Of course, my boyfriend hadn’t arrived yet so I asked my friend what was wrong. The box was silent for several moments, then the familiar ding, and then words blazed across the screen. “He’s cheating on you.” Silence. Was it a joke? Maybe. I tried to take into account that my friend was a bit of a practical joker. I tried to brush it off; after all we were the perfect couple in a lot of ways. We didn’t fight. He had his friends. I had mine. We didn’t generally annoy the hell out of each other. I mean, it wasn’t perfect, but it was comfortable. There in lies the problem: Comfortablity breeds blind eyes. Over the course of the next several hours I learned of my boyfriend’s… lack of better judgment… through saved e-mails, conversations, and a few-well placed phone calls. I became a mini-detective gold mining all my friends and usual haunts for information. Yes, I’ll admit it was a bit stalkerish, and a tad overboard, but I wanted to have all my information in place before I confronted him. I mean, I did have the best information in the world. The guy who told me he was cheating, well, that was the guy my boyfriend was cheating on me with. Eventually, days later, when all the information came into place, I confronted my boyfriend. His excuse for doing it - “I don’t know.” “I don’t know?” How do you explain throwing away something good with “I don’t know?” And thus begins the decent into the maelstrom of trust issues, doubt issues, and the oh so lovely self-esteem issues. I’m sure you know the whole stream of questions, “ Am I not good enough? Am I not attractive enough? Has he told me the truth on this, that or the other? Why? Why? Why?” The world suddenly becomes an endless series of questions, and not a damn one of them has an answer to it. And friends, well they are about as useful as a heat wave in July. Wait, I take that back. They were more helpful then I give them credit for, but that was in the long run. But at that particular moment in my life, well, they weren’t exactly the most helpful group of people ever invented. When I asked them why my boyfriend might have done it, I’d get the same generic answers. Answers I’ve could have read for myself on the net (which I did too - by the way). You see, studying infidelity, specifically gay infidelity isn’t anything new. Clinicians have been studying it since the early 70’s. Type in “gay male” and “infidelity” in your search bar and the whole spectrum of reports will appear at your fingertips for you to browse, shop and research on your own. What do all these reports have in common? They don’t give a Southern Boy like me an iota of information into the male psyche I didn’t already have. All of them pontificate the same jaded dated reasons as to why men cheat. Amusingly enough, there are some real amusing reasons that run the gauntlet from boredom right down to the classic “I want to fit in” syndrome. And while these may be valid reasons accepted by doctors and the like, these are NOT valid reasons for your lover or mate. You see, in all honesty, that little desire to cheat destroys something incredible precious and damn near rare in this world. Think of it this way: In every relationship there is a precious gem, trust, and it’s the most rare and purposeful gem in the world. You can hardly find it or see it, but when you do the damn thing shines brilliantly against all odds. Now, when cheating enters into the picture, that little gem gets a bit discolored, or worse, shattered. It’s damn near impossible to rebuild. In the wake of infidelity you’re left holding a gem made of the shattered and bruised egos, a relationship in need of repair, broken trust, and boundaries forever crossed. And in that shattered wake, the little pieces of trust shine and reveal just how broke you really are in new and scary ways. This is why fidelity is a virtue. Fidelity breeds something of its own. Trust. And with trust, all things are possible. So, before signing off this week, I’m going to pose an open question, and in the coming weeks, post some of the comments and respond to them. I’ll ask a few fairly simple questions. 1.) Have you ever been cheated on? 2.) Did you or did you not take them back? 3.) Why? 4.) If you’ve never been cheated on, do you think you would take them back if they did? And why? I’d like to see some answers to this and in the coming weeks, we’ll explore it a little further. For now, enjoy time with your friends, lovers, mates and what have you. As for me, I’m going to go curl up next to Rog and pass out for a little while. - Texas

NEMESIS: Number One In Heaven

Just remember, it's ALWAYS your turn to shine!

Ryan Kehoe: Reality Master

We had a chance to interview Ryan Kehoe from "Fresh Meat," & "The Gauntlet III." He spills about his feelings on hooking up with Tyler Duckworth, gay marriage, and tells us what he's going to be up to in the near future. Enjoy! 1) What was the deciding factor for you when coming out and being who you are today? I decided to come out at 16 actually. I had initially played the "bisexual" card to some of my closest high school friend at the time, but by the time I graduated in 1999, I was a full-fledged homosexual. For me, my sexuality was so innate that I couldn't dream of staying closeted. I've always lived my life as an open book and luckily, I had great people around me that supported me for me. 2) Do you believe that your life as a homosexual man would be different if you hadn't lived in the city that never sleeps? I think life as a gay man is a lot easier in any city, especially in NYC which is the "gay mecca" of the world. People don't single you out for your differences, as New York is such a melting pot. For every straight girl in New York, there is always at least one gay guy on her side(and there's alot of straight girls in NYC). But I do feel if I lived anywhere else, the scene is always smaller, everyone has dated everyone else, and people know way too much about your business. Some people like the comfort of the "small-town" scene, but for me it would get old real quick. 3) How do you feel about GLBT marriage? I'm all for GLBT marriage. I think our country has come far enough concerning human rights, this can only be the next step. As long as we succeed in getting these dangerous right-wingers out of office this next election, we can all work toward this. I do believe it should be up to the state, though. But I, like any other straight person, have dreamed of marriage since I was a little boy. And when I find "the one", my mother will be there walking me down the aisle(I won't be wearing a dress;)) 4) Since doing shows such as "Fresh Meat" and "The Gauntlet III," have you done any philanthropy for the GLBT community? I need to be way more involved in the GLBT community actually. I've always left that to other people; but now, I'm 26 and am beginning to find my own voice and opinion on different gay issues. I plan on being more involved and pro-active in our community in the near future. 5) Did you ever feel like the odd man out, being the gay man on those MTV shows? I wasn't actually "the only" gay man on either shows. On "Fresh Meat," I wasn't just singled out for being the gay guy. I also happened to have dated one of the veterans a few months prior, which didn't end well. On the "Gauntlet," I wasn't singled out right away because I always performed well, but when we started our losing streak, I'm sure all the guys on my team wanted me against them in the Gauntlet cause of my size, not my sexuality. "Fresh Meat" wasn't a great experience, but in the Gauntlet," I felt extremely accepted and had a serious chance to prove myself. 6) So far on "The Gauntlet III" we've seen some hooking up and what not with Tyler Duckworth. Was there a real attraction there or was it more of a heat-of-the-moment type of deal and for fun? I made out with Tyler a couple times in the pool...all in the same night. I was drunk and he was the only other gay guy there. Everyone else was hooking up, and even though he's not my type physically, it was fun to make out and scare the straight boys a little. He began to develop feelings for me, but I did not egg that on and was always up front with him that it was only a kiss. But Tyler is a very hysterical person and we had a blast making fun of people together while we were there. It's always nice to have another gay guy with you in these insane circumstances. 7) Who was your closest fellow cast member from either of the shows? I really got along with everyone, but Paula and Robin were definately the two people I chilled with the most. I've always had a little crush on Robin and as soon as we met, we became attached at the hip. She was going through alot at home, and I became her shoulder to lean on. We would always sing, dance, cuddle, and make-out(when the cameras weren't rolling) to keep ourselves entertained. Paula was the most amazing person I met through this entire experience. She is so cool and funny and is an example of someone who I thought was a trainwreck on her "Real World" season. She's one of the few people who watched themselves on TV and actually made a conscious decision to change and not be "that girl" anymore. I love her so much that I convinced her to move to NYC, and now she's my roommate! 8) With the Presidential Election rapidly approaching in the US, who would you like to see win and why? I'd be happy if Clinton or Obama won; honestly, as long as the Republicans lost. I think Clinton has alot more experience and having Bill behind her would help us a great deal! He was a great president, regardless of his scandals, and would love to see him as the "first man" in the white house again. Our country is ready for a serious change. My father is a disabled Vietnam veteran who also happens to be gay, so I've always grown up with a sensitivity to war and it's effect on families. We need to clean up this mess in Iraq. Plus, so many other countries have female leaders, why not America too? 9) Please give advice to those in the GLBT community struggling with who they truy are: I always say to live your life truly and be proud of who you are. Not everyone has the freedom that we do in America, and take advantage of this now. We may not be able to legally marry in this country yet, but we've come a long way in a short peroid of time. The more people that live there lives openly and comfortably, the less taboo being gay will become. I know it's way harder in small towns and suburbs, but there is always a GLBT center or support group nearby and ready to listen. And take it from me- being gay is FABULOUS! 10) What can we expect from the handsome Ryan Kehoe in the future? I will certainly do more challenges in the future if asked, but reality tv is not my life. It is fun and silly, and has been a great experience altogether. I will take every opportunity that comes my way and hopefully have a voice to create my own show one day. In the meantime, it's back to work at my restaurant in NYC and spending time with friends and family that keep me sane, happy, and grounded. *Please note, all content is copyright material - Interview conducted by Giusepee*

Artist of the week: David Bowie

This man was true to himself, explored his sexuality openly and we love him for it! Ziggy Stardust WILL live on!

Velvet Goldmine - Kiss

there should be NO shame in man on man love!