Notes from the Concrete Jungle: Pacienca Y Fe

It's been awhile since I wrote here, and wow, it's not for lack of things to write about. See, the thing is though, I have to find the right topic, at the right time, to say what I really want to say. Today is one of those days, when I've found something I can write about without rehashing old arguements or discussions. Over time I wrote alot about what love is, how to find love, etc etc and so forth. But I never took the time to write the blog about breaking up, or slowing down, or taking a break. It just never suited me. The sad truth is, for all my negative outward appearance in the world, I've a very positive (but realistic/romantic) heart. I hold out for dreams that may or may not come true. Having said that, I realize now the breakup world is different. It's harder to navigate then it was in the past. Those of you who rememeber the creation of Myspace and Facebook will agree. In the past you broke up, maybe deleted a phone number or two, and moved on. It was over with, regardless of the "Let's be friends" status or not. In this new age things are more social, there are no secrets. Life is lived before everyone's eyes. Log into any of the above mentioned accounts and you'll instantly know the status of your friends. This is both positive and negative. Positive in you can always keep tabs on your friends and be up to date on what's happening with them. Negative, well, because there are no more secrets, things are out there for everyone to see. I often wonder what is the new protocol for a breakup, I mean, there must be right? It also, I guess, depends on how the breakup ended. In my mind (and I could be wrong) there's only four ways a relationship ends: Good, Bad, Ugly, and Uncertain. Good is enough to figure out how to deal with, you ended on mutual terms and made mutual descisions from there. Bad, well that's like fire and brimstone with a pinch of bitterness. Ugly is fire and brimstone multiplied by a billion with a few corpses thrown in for effect. Uncertain is exactly what it means. Now I'm sure all of these have protocol of some sort, I mean, they had it in the past. But where is the protocol now? Do you remove each other from your social network circles, so you don't have the door to pain anymore? Do you leave them and deal with it? Do you favorite them, then remove them and then secretly stalk them? (This one is a joke.) Or do you just let it all be? The thing about the dating world and love is it doesn't come with a handbook. No one, and I mean no one, can give you the advice of the heart. The only advice I would barely offer is this... Pacienca Y Fe. Patience and Faith. Listen closely to your own heart, what does it tell you to do? Now, I'm not talking about the heart that is in pain, but the real true genuine heart inside. The one that's patient and faihful. This heart will help you make the right decisions. I've barely expounded on this, as I'm running late for a friend's birthday party today. Ah, the Jungle, it never stops moving, even when you wish it would. That's part of the beauty of the Jungle, life will go on. - Texas

A Conversation With Norm Korpi ...

Remember when the Real World aired back in 1992? Well, we got a chance to catch up with a trailblazer named Norman Korpi ... remember him? Enjoy! 1) When you first auditioned for the show (Real World: New York) back in 1992, did you think it would last as long as it did...I mean, 20 seasons is a VERY long time! NO...no...no...I never thought it would make it past Season 2. But looking at Real World’s format with changing casts members, and cities, the format some how keeps it fresh or predicable with the marketing and the teen machine. 2) Do you consider yourself a role model for the GLBT community; why/why not? I don’t consider myself a role model for the GLBT community. Candidly, I would rather be considered a role model for the straight community. Why? I think people are starting to see the green impact that gays share a light on. Upholding population control and resource consumption with same-sex (or no sex, in my case) lifestyle which I celebrated through helping others around me achieve their happiness by staying out of the rat race and lines which plague us all. I am glad my trend-setting role on the Real World has also had a positive cultural impact after all these years with other fancy-free-folk and such, making their waves of acceptance in the pond of pop-culture more splashy then I. In short, gays reduce traffic. Traffic and pollution are not good. Go Green…GO GAY! 3) Was your season really "real” ? How so? What was your most "real" moment throughout the filming? Do you think the seasons that came after yours weren't as valid as far as reality was concerned? The show was only 22 minutes long and it was in a forced semi-controlled space. I think I reacted as I would in that type of environment. If you knew me before the show, you would say that I was pretty much me. What MTV aired, I think, was a nice portrayal… but it was limited due to the time they had to show. Also, there was time when there were no, I mean no gay people on television. This was a huge commercial event…PBS nor the NEWS aired this kind of thing. Pop-Culture. Soda Pop. I was new, and so it was a very unusual event having a gay cast member … and the “real” was what made it work. Once we changed the way people watched, people saw it for some kind of a stage to be famous, and they wanted to celebrate their issues and learned from/had fun with others. I think you can do this all now on facebook and YouTube. 4) Do you think you portrayed a realistic sense of the gay lifestyle throughout the duration of filming of the show that would someday hold an iconic status in pop-culture? I am not sure there was anything called a “gay lifestyle” back then. It was disco, and we did the best to have fun and keep from catching the bug. It was a sad time and we protested a bit more than the kick back “IKEA chill.” Also, I like deer hunting, and golfing; I am not sure how all that played out either. 5) Besides making "The Wedding Video," what else have you done since your season was all wrapped up and aired? I have been painting and exhibiting my artwork with various galleries, commissions and shows; I have few art shows coming up this summer (at The Contemporary Center of Art in Orange County). I have a few other projects that will be surfacing about water control and renewable energy, but that’s too long and dull to get into. 6) Are you married? What are your stands on gay marriage? No, I am not married … I am for whatever works for the people! 7) Who have been your top 5 favorite gay cast members over the last 20 seasons and why? What I have learned over the years is this: favorite, like, and dislike are traps and don’t offer much to me; those steps create a hierarchy or reward structure in which others will follow, because even when there is a likeness assumed, there is a dislike or someone’s life wasn’t as meaningful when the editors made choices. I will say the cast members who were straight did has much or more for the gays … by making relationships that were caring, combative, and real. All of this happened for all to see! 8) Please give advice to anyone who is struggling with coming to terms with who they truly are: Take a step forward… Stop being so needy… Learn to listen to other people… The Meteor is coming, so help us stop it from wiping us all off the earth! (It’s part metaphor, and it’s also on the horizon) Oh yes, and you can’t change anyone…just yourself. This is sad but true. Once you get that, you’ll go much further down the road. Make a party of it, damnit! You can be “out” in your mind and when you have control of your life, you feel safe that day. Out you go - wear whatever you want and thank the people with a flower for the freedom. It’s not free…so vote, you little shit. But remember, you can’t change people… people change themselves. So you make yourself safe. Find those friends…the truth will set you free.

Real World 20...AHHH!

Below are our top pics for the bestest gay men who paved the way for our community via reality tv! We also chose Davis Mallory, but of course the video didn't post! lol ... leave comments, and your fave picks for who you just couldn't live without from week to week! Can you believe it's been 20 seasons!?

Danny (and Paul)

And last but not least, Danny! Anyone know how we can get a hold of him? haha ... we also have a few questions for him!

The Norm!

He was one of the first, kiddies...

Tyler finds a guy to hook up with...

Tyler was interesting, but we still love 'em!

Notes From The Concrete Jungle: The Importance of Listening

A lot, and I mean a lot, has been said about the importance of listening. Scores and scores of advice on how one should listen, why one should listen, and what one should listen for. But not nearly enough has been said about the importance of talking. Now, I don’t mean talking just to hear your own voice, but talking to actually express things, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the like. For all the people out there in the world listening, SOMEONE’S got to be talking (at least I would hope).

Over the last few months I’ve been thinking really hard on some things, and one of these things is the importance of talking. Now, for the record, I’m a talker, or at least our standard definition of a talker. In reality, I’m an idle chatter, someone who can make little, non-sensible conversation. When it comes to the big things, and I mean the really big things, I’m as quiet as the rats that run through the sewers of the Jungle. I’ve never learned how to talk.

I come from a family and world in which talking about yourself was status quo. I spent nights doing the usual ego boasting, and idly expressing world views that no one really knew or understood. But the talking about yourself stopped, dead cold, when expressing emotions or feelings. I grew up trying to achieve my dad’s idea of the typical southern eldest son. I’m sure most of you have heard of the idea, top of the class, football star, macho, and emotionless. It’s the stereotype portrayed in movies and television specials. I wasn’t any of these things, but I bought into them. I created them as part of my own personality. I developed stoicism, the complete lack of emotion, at least by modern definition. See, I was taught to show emotion is weakness and to talk about your emotion is feminine. Due to being raised like this, I developed ways to express myself, which wouldn’t exactly break my dad’s little rules, but it was never about me.

I’m a writer by nature; I’ve always played with pen and paper. So it seemed natural to me to take these unexpressed emotions and convey them through characters and pages. I wasn’t breaking Daddy’s rules; I was, if anything, bending them a bit. I created characters to express my anger, my rage, my sadness, anything my heart felt. It wasn’t me though, and it solved nothing, and I skipped the fast track to the modern generation. We live in age when talking about emotions and feelings are in vogue, but I missed it. I feel odd, strange, saying things like “I feel angry” or “I’m upset when,” or “I’m happy when.” These are not sentences I can form easily. I’ve always handled things myself, or dished them out on the page. And suddenly, life changes.

In any relationship, friendship or otherwise, talking is key. Not just talking about likes, dislikes, or even favorite films, but talking about real issues, real emotions, and reality. There’s the key to it all… reality. Relationships rely on reality. They rely on being true, not only to yourself, but to the other person. When talking, in reality, you begin to craft the gem of trust. Not only do you craft trust, but you begin to deepen where things are going. Things can’t be fixed without being spoken of. If you choose to remain silent, then you choose to let the issue bubble and brew into a major issue that may explode beyond repair. All this having been said, how does one go about talking, or in my case, learning to talk? Like anything you learn, you have to start at the beginning. I haven’t quite mastered starting at the beginning. I’m the type that just dives right in. This time though, for my own personal reasons, I’m starting at the beginning. Step one in learning to talk is finding time, and sitting down in an area that’s comfortable for everyone. Step two, open up, and let the words flow and talk. Speak from the heart, and let the words flow, but by all means avoid words like “always” or “never,” phrases like this immediately put everyone on the defensive. Step three brings us back to the all important listening people have harped on for years. But the importance, remains on talking, on letting things go, on creating understanding. Most importantly, on continuing to craft the gem of trust.

PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK
1. No One's Gonna Love You (The Way That I Do) - Band of Horses
2. Spit on a Stranger - Nickel Creek
3. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
4. This Modern Love - Bloc Party
5. Digital Love - Daft Punk
6. Read My Mind - The Killers
7. Like the Angels Rise - Against Me
8. You're My Best Friend - Queen
9. Solider Girl - The Polyphonic Spree
10. All My Loving - The Beatles

Until Next Week
- Texas