Notes from the Concrete Jungle: What do you want to see?

Hey Gang! Joe asked me to put a little work into Equaltester and help get it ready for the re-launch. So, in my typical fashion, I haven't a clue what to do!!! I mean, seriously, I'm just a writer right? I just put words on paper and shove it out on the net for people to read. Nothing great, nothing special... blah blah blah. But the truth is, and I mean this honestly, its your site guys. I mean, it's for all of you that Joe, SPECIFICALLY JOE, puts alot of work into this site. So, you know, what's the writer to do? Simple. I do what I do best. Write. A lot. And there's lots of stuff coming, but you know, what I want to know, being a country bumpkin starving his arse off in the Concrete Jungle, is what do you guys want to see? What about the site really interests you, what catches your eye? What do you want to see more of, less of, what new things should we add? So you know, quit lurking and start taking charge. Start telling us what you'd love to see, what you want this to become. We're waiting :P Texas

UNDER CONTRUCTION

HI ALL, WE ARE CURRENTLY RE-DESIGNING THIS BLOG SITE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE... PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR MORE INTERVIEWS, POETRY, NEW VIDEOS, ETC... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! WE REALLY NEED YOUR SUPPORT MORE NOW THAN EVER! Equaltester is about the importance of staying true to oneself. We all have a place under the rainbow, and all of the men out there in our community need to know that through and through. Eventually, I'd like to market to the young ones who are just creeping out of the closet and have equal be there safe-haven. Overall, Equal is for the strong-willed gay man of the future.

Notes from the Concrete Jungle: Pacienca Y Fe

It's been awhile since I wrote here, and wow, it's not for lack of things to write about. See, the thing is though, I have to find the right topic, at the right time, to say what I really want to say. Today is one of those days, when I've found something I can write about without rehashing old arguements or discussions. Over time I wrote alot about what love is, how to find love, etc etc and so forth. But I never took the time to write the blog about breaking up, or slowing down, or taking a break. It just never suited me. The sad truth is, for all my negative outward appearance in the world, I've a very positive (but realistic/romantic) heart. I hold out for dreams that may or may not come true. Having said that, I realize now the breakup world is different. It's harder to navigate then it was in the past. Those of you who rememeber the creation of Myspace and Facebook will agree. In the past you broke up, maybe deleted a phone number or two, and moved on. It was over with, regardless of the "Let's be friends" status or not. In this new age things are more social, there are no secrets. Life is lived before everyone's eyes. Log into any of the above mentioned accounts and you'll instantly know the status of your friends. This is both positive and negative. Positive in you can always keep tabs on your friends and be up to date on what's happening with them. Negative, well, because there are no more secrets, things are out there for everyone to see. I often wonder what is the new protocol for a breakup, I mean, there must be right? It also, I guess, depends on how the breakup ended. In my mind (and I could be wrong) there's only four ways a relationship ends: Good, Bad, Ugly, and Uncertain. Good is enough to figure out how to deal with, you ended on mutual terms and made mutual descisions from there. Bad, well that's like fire and brimstone with a pinch of bitterness. Ugly is fire and brimstone multiplied by a billion with a few corpses thrown in for effect. Uncertain is exactly what it means. Now I'm sure all of these have protocol of some sort, I mean, they had it in the past. But where is the protocol now? Do you remove each other from your social network circles, so you don't have the door to pain anymore? Do you leave them and deal with it? Do you favorite them, then remove them and then secretly stalk them? (This one is a joke.) Or do you just let it all be? The thing about the dating world and love is it doesn't come with a handbook. No one, and I mean no one, can give you the advice of the heart. The only advice I would barely offer is this... Pacienca Y Fe. Patience and Faith. Listen closely to your own heart, what does it tell you to do? Now, I'm not talking about the heart that is in pain, but the real true genuine heart inside. The one that's patient and faihful. This heart will help you make the right decisions. I've barely expounded on this, as I'm running late for a friend's birthday party today. Ah, the Jungle, it never stops moving, even when you wish it would. That's part of the beauty of the Jungle, life will go on. - Texas

A Conversation With Norm Korpi ...

Remember when the Real World aired back in 1992? Well, we got a chance to catch up with a trailblazer named Norman Korpi ... remember him? Enjoy! 1) When you first auditioned for the show (Real World: New York) back in 1992, did you think it would last as long as it did...I mean, 20 seasons is a VERY long time! NO...no...no...I never thought it would make it past Season 2. But looking at Real World’s format with changing casts members, and cities, the format some how keeps it fresh or predicable with the marketing and the teen machine. 2) Do you consider yourself a role model for the GLBT community; why/why not? I don’t consider myself a role model for the GLBT community. Candidly, I would rather be considered a role model for the straight community. Why? I think people are starting to see the green impact that gays share a light on. Upholding population control and resource consumption with same-sex (or no sex, in my case) lifestyle which I celebrated through helping others around me achieve their happiness by staying out of the rat race and lines which plague us all. I am glad my trend-setting role on the Real World has also had a positive cultural impact after all these years with other fancy-free-folk and such, making their waves of acceptance in the pond of pop-culture more splashy then I. In short, gays reduce traffic. Traffic and pollution are not good. Go Green…GO GAY! 3) Was your season really "real” ? How so? What was your most "real" moment throughout the filming? Do you think the seasons that came after yours weren't as valid as far as reality was concerned? The show was only 22 minutes long and it was in a forced semi-controlled space. I think I reacted as I would in that type of environment. If you knew me before the show, you would say that I was pretty much me. What MTV aired, I think, was a nice portrayal… but it was limited due to the time they had to show. Also, there was time when there were no, I mean no gay people on television. This was a huge commercial event…PBS nor the NEWS aired this kind of thing. Pop-Culture. Soda Pop. I was new, and so it was a very unusual event having a gay cast member … and the “real” was what made it work. Once we changed the way people watched, people saw it for some kind of a stage to be famous, and they wanted to celebrate their issues and learned from/had fun with others. I think you can do this all now on facebook and YouTube. 4) Do you think you portrayed a realistic sense of the gay lifestyle throughout the duration of filming of the show that would someday hold an iconic status in pop-culture? I am not sure there was anything called a “gay lifestyle” back then. It was disco, and we did the best to have fun and keep from catching the bug. It was a sad time and we protested a bit more than the kick back “IKEA chill.” Also, I like deer hunting, and golfing; I am not sure how all that played out either. 5) Besides making "The Wedding Video," what else have you done since your season was all wrapped up and aired? I have been painting and exhibiting my artwork with various galleries, commissions and shows; I have few art shows coming up this summer (at The Contemporary Center of Art in Orange County). I have a few other projects that will be surfacing about water control and renewable energy, but that’s too long and dull to get into. 6) Are you married? What are your stands on gay marriage? No, I am not married … I am for whatever works for the people! 7) Who have been your top 5 favorite gay cast members over the last 20 seasons and why? What I have learned over the years is this: favorite, like, and dislike are traps and don’t offer much to me; those steps create a hierarchy or reward structure in which others will follow, because even when there is a likeness assumed, there is a dislike or someone’s life wasn’t as meaningful when the editors made choices. I will say the cast members who were straight did has much or more for the gays … by making relationships that were caring, combative, and real. All of this happened for all to see! 8) Please give advice to anyone who is struggling with coming to terms with who they truly are: Take a step forward… Stop being so needy… Learn to listen to other people… The Meteor is coming, so help us stop it from wiping us all off the earth! (It’s part metaphor, and it’s also on the horizon) Oh yes, and you can’t change anyone…just yourself. This is sad but true. Once you get that, you’ll go much further down the road. Make a party of it, damnit! You can be “out” in your mind and when you have control of your life, you feel safe that day. Out you go - wear whatever you want and thank the people with a flower for the freedom. It’s not free…so vote, you little shit. But remember, you can’t change people… people change themselves. So you make yourself safe. Find those friends…the truth will set you free.

Real World 20...AHHH!

Below are our top pics for the bestest gay men who paved the way for our community via reality tv! We also chose Davis Mallory, but of course the video didn't post! lol ... leave comments, and your fave picks for who you just couldn't live without from week to week! Can you believe it's been 20 seasons!?

Danny (and Paul)

And last but not least, Danny! Anyone know how we can get a hold of him? haha ... we also have a few questions for him!

The Norm!

He was one of the first, kiddies...

Tyler finds a guy to hook up with...

Tyler was interesting, but we still love 'em!

Notes From The Concrete Jungle: The Importance of Listening

A lot, and I mean a lot, has been said about the importance of listening. Scores and scores of advice on how one should listen, why one should listen, and what one should listen for. But not nearly enough has been said about the importance of talking. Now, I don’t mean talking just to hear your own voice, but talking to actually express things, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the like. For all the people out there in the world listening, SOMEONE’S got to be talking (at least I would hope).

Over the last few months I’ve been thinking really hard on some things, and one of these things is the importance of talking. Now, for the record, I’m a talker, or at least our standard definition of a talker. In reality, I’m an idle chatter, someone who can make little, non-sensible conversation. When it comes to the big things, and I mean the really big things, I’m as quiet as the rats that run through the sewers of the Jungle. I’ve never learned how to talk.

I come from a family and world in which talking about yourself was status quo. I spent nights doing the usual ego boasting, and idly expressing world views that no one really knew or understood. But the talking about yourself stopped, dead cold, when expressing emotions or feelings. I grew up trying to achieve my dad’s idea of the typical southern eldest son. I’m sure most of you have heard of the idea, top of the class, football star, macho, and emotionless. It’s the stereotype portrayed in movies and television specials. I wasn’t any of these things, but I bought into them. I created them as part of my own personality. I developed stoicism, the complete lack of emotion, at least by modern definition. See, I was taught to show emotion is weakness and to talk about your emotion is feminine. Due to being raised like this, I developed ways to express myself, which wouldn’t exactly break my dad’s little rules, but it was never about me.

I’m a writer by nature; I’ve always played with pen and paper. So it seemed natural to me to take these unexpressed emotions and convey them through characters and pages. I wasn’t breaking Daddy’s rules; I was, if anything, bending them a bit. I created characters to express my anger, my rage, my sadness, anything my heart felt. It wasn’t me though, and it solved nothing, and I skipped the fast track to the modern generation. We live in age when talking about emotions and feelings are in vogue, but I missed it. I feel odd, strange, saying things like “I feel angry” or “I’m upset when,” or “I’m happy when.” These are not sentences I can form easily. I’ve always handled things myself, or dished them out on the page. And suddenly, life changes.

In any relationship, friendship or otherwise, talking is key. Not just talking about likes, dislikes, or even favorite films, but talking about real issues, real emotions, and reality. There’s the key to it all… reality. Relationships rely on reality. They rely on being true, not only to yourself, but to the other person. When talking, in reality, you begin to craft the gem of trust. Not only do you craft trust, but you begin to deepen where things are going. Things can’t be fixed without being spoken of. If you choose to remain silent, then you choose to let the issue bubble and brew into a major issue that may explode beyond repair. All this having been said, how does one go about talking, or in my case, learning to talk? Like anything you learn, you have to start at the beginning. I haven’t quite mastered starting at the beginning. I’m the type that just dives right in. This time though, for my own personal reasons, I’m starting at the beginning. Step one in learning to talk is finding time, and sitting down in an area that’s comfortable for everyone. Step two, open up, and let the words flow and talk. Speak from the heart, and let the words flow, but by all means avoid words like “always” or “never,” phrases like this immediately put everyone on the defensive. Step three brings us back to the all important listening people have harped on for years. But the importance, remains on talking, on letting things go, on creating understanding. Most importantly, on continuing to craft the gem of trust.

PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK
1. No One's Gonna Love You (The Way That I Do) - Band of Horses
2. Spit on a Stranger - Nickel Creek
3. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
4. This Modern Love - Bloc Party
5. Digital Love - Daft Punk
6. Read My Mind - The Killers
7. Like the Angels Rise - Against Me
8. You're My Best Friend - Queen
9. Solider Girl - The Polyphonic Spree
10. All My Loving - The Beatles

Until Next Week
- Texas

Notes From The Concrete Jungle: Something Borrowed, Something "Blue"

Something Borrowed, Something "Blue"

Have you ever played with a lead balloon? I haven't either, and I assume (though I could be wrong) that it's absolutely no fun. The reason I ask is, well, I've been sitting with a lead balloon in my lap for about a week now, and I'm totally unsure of what to do with it. Am I suppose to throw it, or use it as some fanciful decoration in the House of Texas? I simply don't know.

Of course, "lead balloon" is a euphamism for something else. It usually refers to a situation that doesn't work, for example: "Well, that joke went over like a lead balloon." I tend to use it for a situation I don't want to deal with. Example: "Your drinking is one more lead balloon." An even better example: "My brother's wedding is another lead balloon in my life." And it is.

Time for a bit of a story. (Yay!... or not.) Mitch, the middle son of my family, is getting married on April 19th. To say I'm happy is an understatement, he and Stacy have been dating for over eight years. Eight years! Hell, most of us have a hard time imaging eight weeks let alone eight years! So yes, I'm very happy for him. They deserve each other. Seriously, they do. And don't try to read any bitterness or resentment (two "glowing" trademarks of queer society) into this. There isn't any. If anything, this "lead balloon" got me thinking.

I haven't been home in over a year, and while a wedding is a perfect reason to escape the confines of the Jungle, it isn't an oppertunity I plan to persue. You see, my family is a bit of a disjointed mess, and this wedding REEKS of disaster. (To be clear the disaster isn't Mitch and Stacy, it's the mess surrounding the wedding.) Pluse, disaster aside, I don't feel like answering millions of questions that are bound to be asked. And I'm sure any fool knows what those are.

"How's New York?" Great! Couldn't be better. (Sip drink in silence and pray they go away.) "Got a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?" Yeah, I do. HE'S wonderful. (Deeper into the drink.) "So, when do you plan to get married?" (Pause. Beat. Smile.)

And then the Beast that is Texas lurches forward and attacks that fool crazy enough to ask that question, thus rendering my brother's wedding on the evening news. Publicity! Fame! And jail time. And why? Simple. I'm a rabid, feral, staunch supporter of gay marriage, and in the backwoods gay isn't something you mention, let alone marriage. So instead of running off to book my flight, I sit with the lead balloon and wonder just were I'm going to use it to decorate the House of Texas.

I'm not going to let this become a rant on marriage, the need for the legalization of it, or blabber on about the need for equality. Let's face it, we all know, gay or straight, these issues need to be addressed, but there's a time and a place for these things. For the record your brother's wedding is not the proper time or place (and to be honest I don't think Pride is the time to mention these things either). It's called class and edicate. I'm only going to say one thing about the whole marriage thing (for now). The constitution states I have the right to the pursuit of happiness, irregardless of the fact that my happiness might step on your religious beliefs (there's an amendment that solves that problem too). Enough said, I think (again, for now).

Actively Support... PORNO?!?

For all you kiddies a bit bored during the week and need something to get over the mid-week blues, you should check out 9TH AVENUE SALOON (between 46th and 47th on 9th Ave) on Wednesday night. A good friend of mine, Manny (who just celebrated his birthday), runs the bar that night. And guess what? From 9 to 11 you can usually oogle a porn star or go-go boy! Now, wait, wait, it gets better. You can play BINGO! Did I lose you? Hope not, because by playing bingo you'll be helping local gay orginizations raise money. The orginzations range from theatrical to medical, just ask Manny at the bar each week who it helps. Oh, and a word of advice, don't mention being a Red Sox fan (if you are). So go out and enjoy a cocktail or two and help support the community.

PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK

One last thing guys, here's some more music to get you through the week.

1. Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

2. Good Day - The Click Five

3. Just Some Guy - Anthony Rapp

4. Rollerskate Skinny - Old 97s

5. Magick - Klaxons

6. Rogues - Incubus

7. Tounge Tied - Eve6

8. Million Years - Teddy Geiger

9. Lights and Music - Cut Copy

10. Weekend Wars - MGMT

Until next time,

- Texas

Notes from the Concrete Jungle: Get Your Groove On

First and foremost - an apology. I've been M.I.A. (missing in action, not the artist) these last few weeks. Turmoil and upheavel has hit the House of Texas. I know that isn't much of an excuse, or reason, but it's the truth. I won't go into many details, but please be satsified with it's been a rough two weeks. As way of an apology, I've two back to back posts. The first is a subject near and dear to my heart, Music. The second is a rumination over a hot button topic that fell into my lap like a lead balloon (and believe me, it hurt). But for now gang, pull out your headphones, sit back, relax, and get ready of two awesome music recommendations.
I've never been a huge fan of dance music (don't shoot me), but I happend to stumble on a song from an artist right here in the Concrete Jungle. His name is Adam Barta and he hails from the Boogie-Down Bronx. He orginally worked Off-Broadway while persuing his music career. In early 2005 he released a track called "Dirty Girls," and while it did okay, the song never really took off. Well, Mr. Barta is back - with a vengence.
"I Wanna Hold You" is a love/dance anthem, simple enough. The song musically reminds me of some of the dance music that came out of the late 90's. Def worth a spin or two and I'm willing to bet you'll see and hear more from Mr. Barta in the coming months. Internet sources say he's working on a full-length album, and if the songs are as good and catch as this one, I suggest you get prepared to be dancing to the songs all summer (or at least until Our Lady of the Pavement starts her assault on the Billboards).
For starters, this isn't the real video, but it allows me to offer the song a bit to you. Until "Our Lady of the Pavement's" new album drops on Apr. 28th, this is the CD in heavy rotation at the House of Texas, Oracular Spetacular by a group called MGMT (pronounced management). This is an awesome CD. Seriously. It's rare when I don't skip at least three to ten tracks per album, but there's not really one I skip. Playability of this album is high. The two lead singles, "Electric Feel" and "Time to Pretend" show much of the band's versatility. As a band, MGMT summons to mind heavy influences of Bowie, CCR, and The Kinks, while also sounding like LCD Soundsystem. Interested yet? You should be. "Electric Feel," one of the lead singles, sounds like something you'd hear around midnight in a seventies club, while "Pieces of What" calls to mind CCR and John Fogerty, but peppered heavily with bile. Stand out songs include: "Weekend Wars," "Electric Feel," "Time to Pretend," and "Kids". Do yourself a favor, pick up MGMT before they explode.
To bring this little musical interlude to a close, I thought I'd give you a weekly playlist (a new addition to the article). So without futher ado, here are ten tracks (old, new, obscure, a bit of everything) to get you through the week.
PLAYLIST: Week of 3/14 to 3/21
1. Electric Feel - MGMT
2. I Wanna Hold You - Adam Barta
3. Designs on You - Old 97's
4. I Need Your Love - The Rapture
5. Nine In The Afternoon - Panic at the Disco
6. High - The Cure
7. Going Gay - The Passionistas
8. Changes - David Bowie
9. Trim Your Sails - The Wonder Stuff
10. If You Find Yourself Caught in Love - Belle and Sebastian
Till next time - Texas

blur - boys and girls

it's a crazy, mixed up world out there! i personally like boys ;)

Have YOU equaled?

There's Nothing Like Equality!

check out myspace.com/equaltester and equaltester.blogspot.com! thanks!

Miss Swan At A Gay Bar

Robin F***king Black!

Glammer Robin Black gushes about his new band, his inspirations, and how he wouldn't mind makin' out with a dude...that's why we love him!

1) How, when, where and why did Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars form?

I moved to Toronto in 1998, and found 4 like-minded glam rockers.... we started playing in late '98. We just wanted to be the kind of flashy, good time, exciting band that you just never saw any more.

2) Do you still perform with the boys? Why/Why not?

I still play with "Starboy" Chris Cunnane, the last original member. I have a great new band coming together to tour Canada this spring and the UK this summer. Over time, being in a band is like being married to 5 men of questionable hygiene; you develop different goals in your life. I really appreciate everyone I've played with before.

3) In the song "More Effeminate Than You," do you feel that the message is misrepresented in the heterosexual sense or do you not mind how your fans interpret it? To be honest, as a gay man, I thought you were singing about being more of a queen than your supposed boyfriend and absolutely loved the message of "take me as I am!"

I think it's cool that you see it that way. It was used in the first episode of the North American version of "Queer as Folk" at the moment when the kid (Justin) was outed at school, with "faggot" spray painted on his (Brian's) Jeep. It was very powerful, and I was very moved how they used it. The way you viewed it, as a gay man, is exactly how most straights view it.... that you are more "femmy" than your partner ... for straight guys, it's about being femmier than their girlfriend ... Actually, Starboy wrote most of the lyrics and I usually want to write my own lyrics for his songs, but those were so powerful, and I loved the sentiment, so I just added some of my own...

4) Do you get labeled as "gay" or "bi" at all because of the way you dress and act?

I've been called "gay" thousands of times. I happen to be a (mostly) straight guy who wears make-up and nail polish and dresses flashy... Rednecks and idiots use the term "gay" as an insult, but I sure as fuck don't take it as an insult.

5) Have you ever had a hot experience with a member of the same sex? Who was it with? Do you regret it? Would you do it again?

There have, in the past, been alchohol-fueled evenings where many people were naked in the same room/bed. You often wondered whose hand was where, etc. I remember, in flashes, a guy watching me roger his wife once. Man, crazy times. But, I haven't had the man on man experience. I'm pretty into girls. I can't help it. I was born that way. But I wouldn't rule it out.

6) Please give an average Joe some fashion tips as to how to achieve your look on a regular basis: Glam rock is about cool clothes and hair, eye make-up, etc, but it is, most importantly, about expressing yourself freely. DO YOUR THING! That's my tip.

7) How's the marriage going? How'd you meet your blushing rocker-bride? Any kiddies in the future?

Marriage is tough. I've been married before. Didn't work out. We are actually going through a turbulent time. I am a very driven guy who always puts my career (the entertainment business) and my dreams first. It's not super conducive to great relationships. I am also a hopeless romantic.

8) Please give advice to anyone in the GLBT community who is struggling with who they truly are:

It's tough to be different, but living your life the way you want, instead of by others rules, is worth it no matter how hard it is. Fuck, think of the alternative. DECIDE that you will not spend your years here living for other peoples expectations. Wake up every day and celebrate who you are.

9) Who's your biggest inspiration in the wonderful world of music and glam rock? Is David Bowie aka Ziggy Stardust one of them?

I love Bowie, I love T. Rex. As a kid, I wanted to be just like Billy Idol.

10) Comment on how you thought Velvet Goldmine represented the glam rock era? If you didn't see it, what movie correctly portrays the genre that you perform in?

I loved the look, I loved the music. I thought it really, really felt like the gendre-fucked drug-fueled glam rock days that I imagine in the 70's. I fucking LOVE Hedwig. And Phantom of the Paradise.

11) What does Robin Fucking Black have planned for the future?

I am developing a TV series right now, Writing a new record. Touring canada this year. Touring the UK and Germany in August. I am also fighting my first professional Cage Fight in Ottawa, Ontario on July 26th. Don't ask. ;) Just hoping to keep life an adventure!

-interview conducted by giuseppe - please note all content is copyright material -

Ronnie Kroell Does Commercials

Did you know that the soon-to-be supermodel was in this commercial? He still looks cute, but kinda straight haha. Hopefully an interview with him coming soon!

Notes From The Concrete Jungle: The Case For Belief

In early June one event shocked the world more then anything the news agencies were reporting. Screens across America were filled with the sight of a cozy diner, the sounds of a door jingling open and Steve Perry singing “Don’t Stop Believing’,” and then the worse: the screens went black. Total consuming black. Now, no, a blackout didn’t just suddenly roll across America all at the same time. Something far greater just took place: the ambiguous end to one of the nation’s most watched cable programs. To say the public was upset would be putting it mildly. To say the nation was in a total uproar, well, that might be a little closer to the truth. See, we love endings. That’s why we love sports and wars and lottery winners. We love the completeness that comes from knowing that there’s an end, a clear-cut, finality to it all. Yet, the nation’s beloved television program didn’t offer that. It offered a far greater lesson though: Belief. Since I was a child I was taught to believe in something greater than myself, an embrace of the unknown if you will. Something out there was bigger and greater than myself, and if I prayed (or thought) hard enough, then the wishes and desires I wanted would come true. Thus the seed of faith (or hope, or belief) was born into me. Now, cynics will say - and have said - there’s no need for belief in a world of numbers and logic. After all, one look at a series of numbers and the answers to the world’s largest problems can supposedly be solved. The national debt is into the trillions, so if person A. pays this much and person B. pays this much, etc., etc., the national debt will eventually be repaid. This is the way of numbers and logic and how we live much of modern lives. Nevertheless, not everything can be solved by numbers and logic. Sometimes, we need something greater then ourselves to understand the problem. We still need belief, in ways great and small. Belief in a better world and the better natures of Man - large. Belief in finding a date for the party on Saturday night - small. Belief is weaved into our very fabric. Our forefathers once believed and hoped for a greater future. I believe, for the most part, we’ve got it. Now it’s our turn to believe in a greater tomorrow for our children and our children’s children. Perhaps it’s time to put aside our total reliance on numbers and logic and throw a little more towards belief. Maybe, just maybe, we should step outside the conventional and into the unknown. To paraphrase a popular slogan: To think outside the known. Besides, doing so taps into another primal human desire: the need for adventure and risk. Is Tony Soprano dead? Perhaps. Perhaps not. If nothing else, Mr. Chase - the show’s creator, writer and director - has challenged us. He’s forcing us to reexamine our understanding of the known and the unknown. In essence, we need to return to believing - before our own screens cut quickly to black.

Texas

20th Century Boy...

...in prep for Robin fucking Black's interview...

Robin Black: Why Don't You Love Me?

Please "stay tuned" for an exclusive interview from this hott glam rocker!

Notes from the Concrete Jungle: Cheaters Anonymous

I’m a Southern Boy, I can’t lie about that, even my accent won’t leave me. Yet, as a Southern Boy, there is one thing I hate. In fact, I loathe it. Care to know what it is? Well, even if you don’t, I’ll tell you - County Music. Seriously. There’s an old joke my father told me many times when I was a kid. It goes something like this… “What do you get when you play a Country Music song backwards? The guy gets his house, his dog, his wife, and his kids back.” Now, the joke got me thinking just a bit. What happens when one lives gay life in reverse? See, I’ve noticed something in gay life; our relationships are a bit short and quick. I don’t know if it’s by nature, or if there is a specific reason, but it seems to be true. So I’ve been thinking, if we live our life in reverse, does that mean we get to keep all our dreams? You know, kids, husband, family, good job, and all that? Sadly, one look at our culture tells us we are not living it in reverse, but seem to be stuck in permanent fast forward. Our culture is built upon the age of porn ads and disposable boyfriends. Maybe (and this may just be the cynic in me) we’d be better off with the fully pose able, automated G.I. Joe figures from our youth. At least he won’t leave you, and if he does you can always just introduce him to some Independence Day style action and strap him to a bottle rocket and send him whizzing off into the clear blue skies. Ah, wouldn’t that be a wonderful miracle? Sadly, that is not an option, not even remotely. Well, I guess it MIGHT be an option if you’re the sadomasochistic type. And even then there are about a gazillion laws that protect him from you. So what’s a modern boy to do with an age old epidemic that seems to be plaguing our culture in alarming numbers? After all, infidelity, or “cheating” in layman’s terms, is a plague. So what are we to do? A bit of a back-story here: In October of 2004 I had this boyfriend who I’d been dating on and off over several years. With us it was always the same old story of two people eventually going their separate ways when our roads would part, get back together when they merged, etc. etc. ad nauseum. The last time, and I do mean the last time, we were together things between us seemed to be going very well. At that point in time I was in a decent job and things in my life seemed to be moving forward. One night, as I was sitting around the house waiting on him to come home (yes, we made the effort to live together), an IM box pops up on my computer. It was a mutual friend asking if my boyfriend was around. Of course, my boyfriend hadn’t arrived yet so I asked my friend what was wrong. The box was silent for several moments, then the familiar ding, and then words blazed across the screen. “He’s cheating on you.” Silence. Was it a joke? Maybe. I tried to take into account that my friend was a bit of a practical joker. I tried to brush it off; after all we were the perfect couple in a lot of ways. We didn’t fight. He had his friends. I had mine. We didn’t generally annoy the hell out of each other. I mean, it wasn’t perfect, but it was comfortable. There in lies the problem: Comfortablity breeds blind eyes. Over the course of the next several hours I learned of my boyfriend’s… lack of better judgment… through saved e-mails, conversations, and a few-well placed phone calls. I became a mini-detective gold mining all my friends and usual haunts for information. Yes, I’ll admit it was a bit stalkerish, and a tad overboard, but I wanted to have all my information in place before I confronted him. I mean, I did have the best information in the world. The guy who told me he was cheating, well, that was the guy my boyfriend was cheating on me with. Eventually, days later, when all the information came into place, I confronted my boyfriend. His excuse for doing it - “I don’t know.” “I don’t know?” How do you explain throwing away something good with “I don’t know?” And thus begins the decent into the maelstrom of trust issues, doubt issues, and the oh so lovely self-esteem issues. I’m sure you know the whole stream of questions, “ Am I not good enough? Am I not attractive enough? Has he told me the truth on this, that or the other? Why? Why? Why?” The world suddenly becomes an endless series of questions, and not a damn one of them has an answer to it. And friends, well they are about as useful as a heat wave in July. Wait, I take that back. They were more helpful then I give them credit for, but that was in the long run. But at that particular moment in my life, well, they weren’t exactly the most helpful group of people ever invented. When I asked them why my boyfriend might have done it, I’d get the same generic answers. Answers I’ve could have read for myself on the net (which I did too - by the way). You see, studying infidelity, specifically gay infidelity isn’t anything new. Clinicians have been studying it since the early 70’s. Type in “gay male” and “infidelity” in your search bar and the whole spectrum of reports will appear at your fingertips for you to browse, shop and research on your own. What do all these reports have in common? They don’t give a Southern Boy like me an iota of information into the male psyche I didn’t already have. All of them pontificate the same jaded dated reasons as to why men cheat. Amusingly enough, there are some real amusing reasons that run the gauntlet from boredom right down to the classic “I want to fit in” syndrome. And while these may be valid reasons accepted by doctors and the like, these are NOT valid reasons for your lover or mate. You see, in all honesty, that little desire to cheat destroys something incredible precious and damn near rare in this world. Think of it this way: In every relationship there is a precious gem, trust, and it’s the most rare and purposeful gem in the world. You can hardly find it or see it, but when you do the damn thing shines brilliantly against all odds. Now, when cheating enters into the picture, that little gem gets a bit discolored, or worse, shattered. It’s damn near impossible to rebuild. In the wake of infidelity you’re left holding a gem made of the shattered and bruised egos, a relationship in need of repair, broken trust, and boundaries forever crossed. And in that shattered wake, the little pieces of trust shine and reveal just how broke you really are in new and scary ways. This is why fidelity is a virtue. Fidelity breeds something of its own. Trust. And with trust, all things are possible. So, before signing off this week, I’m going to pose an open question, and in the coming weeks, post some of the comments and respond to them. I’ll ask a few fairly simple questions. 1.) Have you ever been cheated on? 2.) Did you or did you not take them back? 3.) Why? 4.) If you’ve never been cheated on, do you think you would take them back if they did? And why? I’d like to see some answers to this and in the coming weeks, we’ll explore it a little further. For now, enjoy time with your friends, lovers, mates and what have you. As for me, I’m going to go curl up next to Rog and pass out for a little while. - Texas

NEMESIS: Number One In Heaven

Just remember, it's ALWAYS your turn to shine!

Ryan Kehoe: Reality Master

We had a chance to interview Ryan Kehoe from "Fresh Meat," & "The Gauntlet III." He spills about his feelings on hooking up with Tyler Duckworth, gay marriage, and tells us what he's going to be up to in the near future. Enjoy! 1) What was the deciding factor for you when coming out and being who you are today? I decided to come out at 16 actually. I had initially played the "bisexual" card to some of my closest high school friend at the time, but by the time I graduated in 1999, I was a full-fledged homosexual. For me, my sexuality was so innate that I couldn't dream of staying closeted. I've always lived my life as an open book and luckily, I had great people around me that supported me for me. 2) Do you believe that your life as a homosexual man would be different if you hadn't lived in the city that never sleeps? I think life as a gay man is a lot easier in any city, especially in NYC which is the "gay mecca" of the world. People don't single you out for your differences, as New York is such a melting pot. For every straight girl in New York, there is always at least one gay guy on her side(and there's alot of straight girls in NYC). But I do feel if I lived anywhere else, the scene is always smaller, everyone has dated everyone else, and people know way too much about your business. Some people like the comfort of the "small-town" scene, but for me it would get old real quick. 3) How do you feel about GLBT marriage? I'm all for GLBT marriage. I think our country has come far enough concerning human rights, this can only be the next step. As long as we succeed in getting these dangerous right-wingers out of office this next election, we can all work toward this. I do believe it should be up to the state, though. But I, like any other straight person, have dreamed of marriage since I was a little boy. And when I find "the one", my mother will be there walking me down the aisle(I won't be wearing a dress;)) 4) Since doing shows such as "Fresh Meat" and "The Gauntlet III," have you done any philanthropy for the GLBT community? I need to be way more involved in the GLBT community actually. I've always left that to other people; but now, I'm 26 and am beginning to find my own voice and opinion on different gay issues. I plan on being more involved and pro-active in our community in the near future. 5) Did you ever feel like the odd man out, being the gay man on those MTV shows? I wasn't actually "the only" gay man on either shows. On "Fresh Meat," I wasn't just singled out for being the gay guy. I also happened to have dated one of the veterans a few months prior, which didn't end well. On the "Gauntlet," I wasn't singled out right away because I always performed well, but when we started our losing streak, I'm sure all the guys on my team wanted me against them in the Gauntlet cause of my size, not my sexuality. "Fresh Meat" wasn't a great experience, but in the Gauntlet," I felt extremely accepted and had a serious chance to prove myself. 6) So far on "The Gauntlet III" we've seen some hooking up and what not with Tyler Duckworth. Was there a real attraction there or was it more of a heat-of-the-moment type of deal and for fun? I made out with Tyler a couple times in the pool...all in the same night. I was drunk and he was the only other gay guy there. Everyone else was hooking up, and even though he's not my type physically, it was fun to make out and scare the straight boys a little. He began to develop feelings for me, but I did not egg that on and was always up front with him that it was only a kiss. But Tyler is a very hysterical person and we had a blast making fun of people together while we were there. It's always nice to have another gay guy with you in these insane circumstances. 7) Who was your closest fellow cast member from either of the shows? I really got along with everyone, but Paula and Robin were definately the two people I chilled with the most. I've always had a little crush on Robin and as soon as we met, we became attached at the hip. She was going through alot at home, and I became her shoulder to lean on. We would always sing, dance, cuddle, and make-out(when the cameras weren't rolling) to keep ourselves entertained. Paula was the most amazing person I met through this entire experience. She is so cool and funny and is an example of someone who I thought was a trainwreck on her "Real World" season. She's one of the few people who watched themselves on TV and actually made a conscious decision to change and not be "that girl" anymore. I love her so much that I convinced her to move to NYC, and now she's my roommate! 8) With the Presidential Election rapidly approaching in the US, who would you like to see win and why? I'd be happy if Clinton or Obama won; honestly, as long as the Republicans lost. I think Clinton has alot more experience and having Bill behind her would help us a great deal! He was a great president, regardless of his scandals, and would love to see him as the "first man" in the white house again. Our country is ready for a serious change. My father is a disabled Vietnam veteran who also happens to be gay, so I've always grown up with a sensitivity to war and it's effect on families. We need to clean up this mess in Iraq. Plus, so many other countries have female leaders, why not America too? 9) Please give advice to those in the GLBT community struggling with who they truy are: I always say to live your life truly and be proud of who you are. Not everyone has the freedom that we do in America, and take advantage of this now. We may not be able to legally marry in this country yet, but we've come a long way in a short peroid of time. The more people that live there lives openly and comfortably, the less taboo being gay will become. I know it's way harder in small towns and suburbs, but there is always a GLBT center or support group nearby and ready to listen. And take it from me- being gay is FABULOUS! 10) What can we expect from the handsome Ryan Kehoe in the future? I will certainly do more challenges in the future if asked, but reality tv is not my life. It is fun and silly, and has been a great experience altogether. I will take every opportunity that comes my way and hopefully have a voice to create my own show one day. In the meantime, it's back to work at my restaurant in NYC and spending time with friends and family that keep me sane, happy, and grounded. *Please note, all content is copyright material - Interview conducted by Giusepee*

Artist of the week: David Bowie

This man was true to himself, explored his sexuality openly and we love him for it! Ziggy Stardust WILL live on!

Velvet Goldmine - Kiss

there should be NO shame in man on man love!

Notes From The Concrete Jungle: Three Small Words

Let me lay before you three simple, small words that mean a lifetime of commitments. At least, that’s what these words should mean, when strung together, but sadly in this advanced age of disconnection, those same three small words seem to mean less and less. Perhaps we may blame the ease in which these three words are batted about upon how quickly we fall in and out of a particular emotions, better still, we may place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the depictions found in novels or movies, or more over we may go as far as to say we base our understand of the words upon our restless natives, the animals. Whichever answer we choose, it remains that these three small words no longer carry the gravity and power they once held, the same power we once held dearly above anything else.
Being slightly cynical, I could easily make many a case for why these particular words lost their power over time, and honestly, it would be relatively simple. After all, it’s always easier to prove why something failed, then why it worked, but I choose not to believe in the loss of the power, only in our loss of understanding the single simple greatness in the words. I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about, after all, this would appear like rambling to many people. Let me lay them before you then: I. Love. You. See, three short, simple, single syllable words. Yet they are three small words holding a phenomenal power, a power so strong that it binds living souls together. Or, at least, they should.
The sad fact of the matter is this; these words are batted around too easily today. Carelessly we toss them about as if they were the days clothes being discarded to the laundry hamper or bedroom floor. This careless, haphazard use of the words has almost single handedly destroyed the great power that lies inside of them. We throw it into text messages and emails, pepper our songs and movie dialogue with it, and twist the meaning to fit our current needs. And what’s worse, we’ve abbreviated it, shorted an already short and simple sentence to a mix of letters or symbols.
Taking the words apart, piece by piece, I’ve managed to build a small foundation for what the words should mean. I, by definition, is the ego, or oneself. Simple enough, right? I mean, any 1st grader could tell you that. They could also tell you what You means, the second or other ego. Okay, so we’ve got, Ego doing something to another Ego. And what is that something? It’s the word Love. Now love can be defined a number of ways, from the sexual (which is really just lust) to the tender and romantic. It is with this word that I believe lies most of today’s problems. A simple sentence is built upon the other Ego’s understanding of the central and key word, and that one word has many direct and indirect meanings.
In the past, and I’m talking centuries ago, Love described the emotion that lifted us above the animals. We needed a word that was strong then care. Let’s face it, “I care for you” just doesn’t sound that romantic. So we created the word love, it sounds deeper, stronger, and quite frankly it sounds hella romantic. Over time though, as is the nature of humanity, we adapted the word to mean different things. A quick glance at the dictionary will confirm this. One definition says the word means intercourse, as in making love to someone, yet another describes it as the warmth one feels for another person. In this day and age we’ve even resorted to it being a bit of a lie to get us what we want. I mean, I’ve had people tell me on the first date they loved me (because I lust you just doesn’t quite do it, you know?). So, how is one to know what someone means when love itself means so many things?
The secret, I do believe, lies in communication. Through communication one can actually discover which meaning the person is trying to use. It could be as simple as how you stress it, when you use it, or how you write it. For example, between my friends and me, it’s a matter of how it is written at times. Let’s say you’re sending a text message (which is the way many people connect in this disconnected age) and send it “I luv u” or “I <3 U”. To me it’s the haphazard standard of love, or to put it bluntly, “I care for you, but not that much.” On the other hand, if you take the time to send the full phrase, it means you have a deep commitment to me as a person, as an individual, and as someone you deeply care for.
To others it’s strictly a matter of when you say. I mean, really, remember when you were a kid and “I love you, Mom” could get you out of almost any trouble? We hold onto that as adult and try to use it on the same level. My boyfriend and I rarely say it to each other (because honestly actions do speak louder than words), but when we do, it is deep and heartfelt. It’s an almost unspoken pact between us we won’t say it when we’re drunk, for we feel this may ruin the sacredness of the vow.
I honestly believe those three little words need to gain their power and authority back. No longer should we use them as haphazard send offs, or barely felt commitments. Instead, we should invest a bit of thought into how and when we say them, and quite a bit of thought into why we are saying them. And maybe, just maybe, if we all ban together and seek out what those three little words really mean, then maybe we will become connected again. After all, when you say “I love you,” you’re really saying, “You will always be with me.” One small little promise that may just change the world.
- Texas

The Cardigans - Lovefool US Version

Cupid de Locke

remember this song from the 90s?

Cupid, My Beloved Enemy- An original Poem by Giuseppe

cupid

you've wronged me in the past

sending lovers knocking down my fortress

and door

on that merciless journey into nothingness

those who were not the right fit

for my heart

misguided and misleading are you

cupid

a devil's advocate of sort

please don't betray me again

my aching heart is rapidly healing now

and you've finally sent a boy my way

that shows me what true love is

an arrow through the heart is all it took

quite a taunting job you have

you tiny cherub

aiming at lost souls

for all eternity

although pierced in the past

by your heart-shaped weapon

i have overcome

cupid

overcome your

cunning

trickery

when i feel that

you have let me down

the power of love

re-resonates throughout my spirit

cupid

no one understands your intentions

i hope we never meet

again

2/10/2008

*poem driven by Giuseppe's fascination with Cupid and love*

My Funny Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day, from equaltester!

Kate Nash - Pumpkin Soup

Editor's pick: Best groovin' love song

Cupid's A-Comin'

Okay, so a lot of people hate this holiday...and I get it; I've been there before. I even went so far as to wear all black to a Valentine's Day party in protest some years back. Whether you love it or hate it, I'm going to offer some suggestions on how you can become closer with your boy-toy, and how you can get through this day solo and 100% sane.

Have A Day With Your Man:

1) buy him 2 roses...explain that they exemplify your relationship as a dynamic duo

2) cook him a simple, romantic dinner...go all out: light candles, play some soft music, and just enjoy each other's company

3) bake your way into his heart...what boy doesn't like baked goods made in his honour? make them cutsie by usuing a heart-shaped cookie cutter

4) if you don't want to go the flowers and candy route, be creative...make a "cupid coupons" booklet with phrases like, "redeem for one romantic massage," etc.

Have A Day With Your Friends Or Solo:

1) if you're single and hating life, you can invite your other single friends over for dinner and a movie and share each other's company

2) take some time for yourself...retail therapy usually does the trick quite nicely

3) if all esle fails, go to your local bar or club and try to look for a nice guy...not some little trick you're going to throw away the next day...hey, you never know what can come of it

-Giuseppe

Homophobia on You Tube

Notes From the Concrete Jungle: An Introduction of Sorts

You don’t know me, but you will. Maybe not personally, or even in the fleeting way someone knows someone who knows someone, but you will know me. See, I’m pretty much an Average Joe, the regular guy you see walking the streets of the Concrete Jungle. Nothing to extreme, or out of the ordinary, just some guy passing through life on the winds of chance and fate. Someone just like you. Yet, like you, I have ideas, ambitions, opinions, goals, etc, etc, and so forth. (Yes, I did just do a shameless King and I joke.) Ultimately, I think that’s what this new column will present, a forum to express ideas, solicit ideas, tell a few stories, and have you know me, and in turn, I shall know you. Ideally, I’d like to see this as a way to make one small segment of our community grow stronger and firmer, becoming a richer, fuller community.

So where to begin? Decisions, decisions. The first step into any new adventure is usually the hardest (at least that’s what my father taught me), but theatre taught me to always start at the beginning. And we shall… after a few disclaimers: 1. Anyone mentioned in this, and future articles, are absolutely real. Names were changed to protect the guilty and save me the burden of law-suits, because quite frankly, I’m a poor Average Joe. 2. Thoughts, ideas, opinions, advice, and other miscellaneous items are solely my own and do not reflect the views of the website, nor anyone else for that matter. 3. I am human, so I will make mistakes. I believe it’s part of the beauty of life, but more on that later. With that in mind, comments, suggestions, and ideas are welcomed, debates offered and will be met, but flames will be put out.

Let us move forward then, and let me lay down a bit of an introduction , for you see, I don’t think this will be very effective if you don’t understand a bit about me. I was born under the autumn sky, upon the cusp of Libra and Scorpio, though leaning much closer to Scorpio, after my mother suffered through twenty-four hours of labor. I know this because she loves to recount this story at every opportunity, and I do mean EVERY opportunity. Thankfully, my beau, Eric, hasn’t been subjected to this horror story yet (keyword being yet) but my mother also lives in Texas, my home state. I grew up with a fairly normal upbringing, minus the fact that my parents were divorced around the time I was ten or so. Strangely enough, the divorce didn’t have a huge effect on me, it only made me understand a little deeper what love is and what love means. Both of my parents came from the North-Midwest, my father being from Warsaw, New York and my mother being from St. Paul, Minnesota. The facts being what they are I was raised both Northern and Southern, and so have a fairly strong understanding of both cultures. Let me set the record straight: I do not have a thick Southern accent. In fact, my accent is barely noticeable unless I allow it to be. I digress….

I moved to the Concrete Jungle on March 1 of 2006 and have lived here since. I came to pursue a bit of theatre, put a bit of my life together and ultimately understand myself; and thankfully, these things have happened, though not necessarily in the order listed. During the course of these articles, I’ll reveal more and more of myself, but also my thought process and my own view of the world, a world that I believe is inherently beautiful, beauty marks and all. Moving forward, I currently live with two of my good friends from back home, Nick and Rog. I also have a wonderful boyfriend, Eric. I work for a corporate coffee chain, and have many wonderful friends and allies, both abroad and in the Jungle. I do believe I’ve summed up the bulk of my existence at the moment.

Before I sign off on this rather jumbled, rambling bit of narrative, allow me a moment to give thanks to someone. A dear friend suggested this “gig” to me, and without his approval or help my words would only be splash of black and white upon a page. I am deeply in Jersey’s debt for this. So, thank you Jersey, for being first a friend, and then a partner in crime.

I believe this wraps up the introduction, short and rambling as it may be. From here only the winds of fate know where the narratives may take us, and down what twisting roads we may ramble.

Texas.

QUEER PHRASE OF THE DAY!

No one's watching...wtf?! ;)

Fedz Finally Speaks...

You Know Him As Buck...

We got a chance of a lifetime to interview Michael Buckley...you probably know him from his youtube show. He sounds like a great guy and expect great things out of him in the future...here's what he had to say to us:

1) How, where, and why did "What the Buck?!" come to be? I was hosting a show on the local public access station and I did a segment called "WHAT THE BUCK." My cousin put a clip on You Tube and it built from there.

2) When you were a wee-little Buck, what were your dreams and aspirations? I wanted to be an actor, a figure skater, and an Olympic Gymnast. Anything that seemed glamourous. Somehow being a You Tube "celeb" passed any true expectations I had for myself.

3) What else do you do career wise besides your vlog episodes and the sort? I work in an office - normal 40 hour a week job.

4) How and why did you come out? I came out to myself when I was 4 and saw the Dukes of Hazzard. I came out to my family when I was 19. I just felt it was time. I never really struggled with being gay- I always knew it was who I was and didn't think it was that big of a deal.

5) Let's be honest, you're a "little over the top" in your vlogs, is that the real you? It's an extreme version of me; I definitely "turn it on" for the show but it's me. I do not believe half the things I say, I just like to say them!

6) How did you meet "husband"? At a bar!

7) Please describe your wedding day to us, and the process of a gay wedding: We had a small civil ceremony in Vermont at The White House Inn back in 2002. There were only 6 people there so it was very nice and low key. We had gone out drinking and singing karaoke the night before. The day of the ceremony we went bowling. The actual ceremony was lovely and personal and I cried the whole time; it was the happiest day of my life. I am very lucky!

8) Please give advice to anyone in the GLBT community who is struggling with coming out and denying themselves of who they truly are: I think you just have to accept it and surround yourself with people who do. I have never had any issues or backlash from being gay. I just don't see it as an issue or a conversation piece either; it's just a fact about me. People make it a big deal or it's the first thing they say about y0u- "that gay guy from you tube". I think you just need to accept yourself no matter what and just enjoy your life. Being gay is not an issue nor something that should cause you any stress!

9) What can we expect from Buck in 2008? I think big things! I am getting a lot of press and doing many TV/Radio appearances. I am just focused on cranking out the content and am very happy with my status in the online world!

*ALL CONTENT IS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL- INTERVIEW COMPOSED BY GIUSEPPE*

Amanda Lepore - Champagne (Goodandevil Mix)

interview with amanda lepore coming soon...

Widelife feat. Simone Denny - All Things (Queer Eye Theme)

Queer Phrase of the day...brought to you by OUTBURSTS: A QUEER EROTIC THESAURUS

"Closet Case" The closet is the central euphemistic term to articulate our homophobic culture's urge to police and hide queer culture. Abigail, angel with a dirty face, beard, BMQ, bi-curious, bunker shy, canned fruit, closet case/CC, closet queen, closet queer, confused, crushed fruit, dash, discrete, "don't ask, don't tell," fake room, flinker, front marriage.

Queer Phrase of the day...brought to you by OUTBURSTS: A QUEER EROTIC THESAURUS

Come Out Of The Closet (to): terms of revealing gay or lesbian sexual identity are surprisingly few despite the fact that coming out is an increasingly common practice in Western society. accept your sexuality, be brought out, come clean, debut, fly the rainbow flag, discover your gender, drop a feather, drop your beads, drop your hairpins, go over, jump out (with both feet), jump out of the closet, lay it out, learn a new way, let your hair down, on the turn, out (to), reveal your homosexuality, show your true colours, tell the folks, turn the corner, unpin your black hair (to), wave the rainbow, wear your badge Out (to): when a closeted celebrity is publicly revealed to be gay without their consent. "Until you are out, you won't know what happiness is." - Sir Ian McKellen, actor